We all remember spending hours and hours in front of the television waiting for our favorite episodes to start and we were so crazy about it that we remembered the entire schedule of the shows to the minute even if we didn’t know what two plus two was. What you were unaware of were the guileless and subtle innuendos that you never realized are being cracked during shows but when we point it out to you, you will have to brace yourself as bro, your childhood is going to be scarred now. Hence, the list of ten inappropriate jokes in kids show begins:
10) The Powerpuff Girls and the Professor’s “Accident”
The kids’ favorite show started with credits that stated that, “Sugar, spice, and everything nice, these were the ingredients chosen, to create the perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally, Added an extra ingredients to the concoction–Chemical X…” and that is how you must remember our loving superhero girls were made accidentally. And surely, in one episode, when the Powerpuff Girls bring over a friend, Bubbles, the cute and sensitive Blue one, explains to her friend the professor made them by accident in his laboratory. The professor shrugs it off saying, “Well, what can I say?” and to that, the friend subtly replies, “Don’t worry professor, I was an accident, too.” For a brief moment, the professor’s eyes open wide. Now we will let it sink in.
9) Shrek and Donkey at Lord Farquaad’s Castle
In Shrek, Lord Farquaad is a very short person, like cannot even reach the height of his fiancée’s knee short. So, after Shrek effectively loses Fiona, his would be wife but at that moment, Lord Farquaad’s fiancée (why are kid’s movies this tangled in love?), Shrek and Donkey stand in front of Lord Farquaad’s rather tall castle. And well, seeing its grandeur, the notorious Shrek says to Donkey, “Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something?” To which they both laugh a hearty secretive at a joke that totally went over every kid’s head. But now we totally get it don’t we?
8) Toy Story series and Body Selling
In the Toy Story series, Andy’s toys were “kidnapped” by an evil kid Sid, who had a bad habit of breaking the toys and re-attaching them in the grossest way possible. So, when Woody and Buzz were Sid’s prisoners, they met all of Sid’s deranged and mutilated toys. One of those toys was seemingly a Barbie dolls legs attached to a toy fishing rod and it made us cringe looking at the gross disfigured poor toy. Well, get ready to cringe further because if you’re not sure where this is going, we’ll spell it out for you. That toy is a “Hooker.” (Cringing and crying)
7) The Fairly Odd Parents and the Paper Towels
The Fairly Odd Parents was a cartoon series famous on Nickelodeon and since it wasn’t that famous, we will jog your memory. The series follows the everyday misadventures of Timmy Turner, a boy who is granted two fairy godparents named Cosmo and Wanda. And damn were they deranged and accordingly, many moments stand out as inappropriate messages in this cartoon, but breaking the patterns, it was Timmy this time who was weird as in one episode, he held a roll of paper towels in his hand and said, “I’m just going to take these towels up to my room alone, so don’t bother me.” to his real parents and well, they just didn’t register it well, just like we didn’t when we were kids.
6) Tiny Toons Stealing Beer
Tiny Toons was the 90’s parody show of Looney Tunes or well, Baby Looney Tunes, and accordingly it showcased smaller, child-like counterparts of our tunes. It was a very sweet and friendly show and we will now burst your bubble by telling you about one unfortunate episode, “One Beer,” where Buster (the tiny but blue version of Bugs Bunny) steals a beer from his parent’s fridge and tries to peer pressure his friends into drinking it (YES!). The constant references to alcohol eventually got the episode banned and well, we are happy it did (but after airing 7 times).
5) Justice League Casual Conversations
Superhero cartoons are meant for somewhat older age groups, but they are STILL KIDS. So when the short quips and snappy comebacks turn into hidden sexual innuendos, it’s just wrong because hello? This territory is not for kids. One of these was an episode of Justice League, where the Flash, fastest man on Earth, boasts about himself and exclaims, “Fastest man alive.” To which Hawkgirl, one of the first female superheroes with her beautiful wings, the hammer, excellent vision and well, a smart mouth, quickly replies, “That’s why you can’t get a date.” That’s just a burn that goes so deep, it will hurt you only now, (WHEN WE CAN UNDERSTAND IT AND ARE LEGAL AGE).
4) Barney and Three Heads in the Flintstones
The Flintstones was a classic cartoon, and one you wouldn’t normally associate with hidden messages with the cute dinosaur slides and the walk-your-car vehicles so it must be shock having this name mentioned in our list. Well, it did have a slip one day (you will understand the pun later). In one episode, as Fred and Barney are shopping, Barney says, “I think I’ll get something that makes me look taller.” Fred replies, as guileless as ever, “How about another head?” and the reply that comes makes us hide our heads in our hands and “Another one? What would I need three of them for?” Damn Barney, damn.
3) Spongebob Squarepants and the Krusty Krab
We had to mention Spongebob at least once and honestly, the instance we are going to tell you about is one of the less cringe-worthy ones in the other instances of the show. And actually, it is not a particular scene or line, it’s something that is just right there, staring at your clueless face, ready to ruin your childhood. So, this particular hidden message was, get this, Spongebob lives in an underwater town called Bikini’s Bottom, correct? And, he works at the Krusty Krab. So, it is the Krusty Krab in Bikini’s Bottom. Take a second to think about it, and now you can scream.
2) Dexter’s Laboratory and the Dancer
Dexter’s Laboratory is a show about a young boy genius consistently being sabotaged (very frustratingly so, we all hated Deedee) by his sister’s idiocy. In one episode, he finds a way to get rid of his sister and miraculously replaces her with a much older attractive blonde woman (who certainly has the curves). Dexter then asks her that he wants to see her dance and well, bam comes the punchline no kid should hear, “Okay, but its fifty bucks extra.” Prostitution.
1) Frozen and the Foot Size
Frozen has been a sensational movie that broke many stereotypes and told us that we don’t need a charming prince to fulfil the need of love in life, as love is powerful no matter what form it takes, it was actually a bit irritating too, seeing that we couldn’t get the “Let It Go” song out of our heads. But inappropriate is a thing we never thought it would be so we will shatter your filter glass by telling you about a certain exchange between Anna and Kristoff, in the scene where they are riding in the sleigh. Kristoff, being hopelessly in love with the funny, clumsy yet charming, beautiful girl, asks Anna a slew of questions about her new boyfriend including, “How big are his feet?” Anna replies, “That doesn’t matter.” Deep breaths?
We are sorry to scar your childhood, but now you know that if you are 20, you would certainly enjoy shows like these and many more like “Hey Arnold”, “Ed, Edd and Eddy”, etc. but you will certainly cringe away f you are tad bit older or well, a parent. What is up you kids’ show makers? THEY ARE KIDS!