Mobile phones have become so smart, every now and then they can afford to be stupid. Apple’s app store led the way in useful applications for your mobile such as google maps and personal organizers. However the market is now so flooded with such a variety of wacky apps, it’s a wonder how the mad scientists who created them have not yet unleashed a Frankenstein upon the world. Below is a list of 10 of the most bizarre apps on the market.
This is guest post by Adrian. He is a writer and broadcaster who has worked for many media organisations around the world, specialising in cars, travel, sport and current affairs. Visit his blog.chillisauce.co.uk
Zombies and vampires are very much in vogue at the moment what with films such as Twilight making young girls everywhere want to get bit, and hit TV series The Walking Dead making everyone re-think their zombie survival plan. Ever wondered how you would look if you did succumb to a horde of the living dead? Wonder no more, as ZombieBooth 3D allows you to do just that. It automatically converts images into decaying nightmares, and looks frighteningly ‘realistic’. The 3D element means that the image becomes animated, growls, and will ‘bite’ your finger if it gets to close to their mouth!
A similar app was used on the hit US sitcom The Big Bang Theory by the unlucky in love character Rajesh Koothrappali. Unfortunately Raj has selective autism, which means that he can not talk to women unless he is drunk, and therefore struggles to get a girlfriend. That is, until he discovered that Siri, a built in app on his iPhone 4S is a female voice that seemingly can have a conversation with him. Honey It’s me is similar, as it provides the user with a Korean speaking ‘girlfriend’ named Mina, who will give you four daily video calls. You’ll never be lonely again!
This is a pretty simple concept and is rather cute in it’s irony, albeit, it is a waste of 30 seconds of your real life. Your pixelated character stands between to buttons labelled ‘work’, and the aim is to press them as fast as you can to in turn work faster, and progress up the career ladder. You grow from a baby to a senile pensioner within 30 seconds, and get a sudden sense of realisation that this is more of an accurate reflection of your life than any nonsense the psychic at the fair try to fob you off with.
Another ironic if wacky concept, as you take control of a suicidal businessman. This balding fella has simply had enough, and it is your mission to put him out of his misery. Unfortunately for him, once you have killed him after level one, he is miraculously resurrected, and has to go through the pain again for another 49 levels. Hugely fun and addictive, and will surely become an office favourite. Just don’t let your boss see or you may genuinely find yourself heading for the window.
Nothing will make you scream WTF in distress and fit of laughter more than this game. Again, this game must be ironic, as the so called environmentally (emphasis on the mentally) friendly bear DRIVES through the forest to hibernate, with scant regard for the environment. He also completely ignores road safety rules by failing to wear a seat belt and driving with just one paw on the steering wheel. This renegade bear is also left handed and has not grasped the use of his feet, meaning that either the accelerator or the steering wheel may be used at any one time., making it almost impossible to drive. Said paw can also be used to punch angry badgers that randomly fall into the car, and collect salmon that land on the windshield. Smarter than the average bear? Debatable, but worth a look purely for the comedic value.
6. Hello Cow!
Quite self explanatory, as it is inane and utterly pointless. You are greeted with a rather depressed looking cow staring you straight in the eyes, with a look that says “why me, why has my life come to this?”, but all you can do to make the poor gal feel better is give her a poke, which will then produce a moo. Whether this is a happy moo because of the attention, a sad moo because she is trapped in a bizarre phone app, or just a regular moo, no body will ever know.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder, along comes the iVoodoo app. This allows the user to select a photo of their sworn nemesis, place it on the head of a cartoonised voodoo doll, then inflict as much pain as possible upon it with a barrage of pins. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t actually work, but I suppose it would pass the time and is a glimmer of hope if your last lead to finally capture The Joker proved to be nothing but a dead end.
8. Hang Time
If you reckon your phone is a bit of a daredevil, why not send it on a kamikaze mission by flinging it as high as you can or throwing it off a cliff and praying that it survives. This app actually records the length of time that your phone spends hurtling back down to earth, and is only for the brave, wealthy, or incredibly stupid.
Does exactly what it says on the tin – makes your phone trump like a trombone. More stealthy and practical than a whoopey cushion or a remote controlled fart box, this app will provides hours of fun as it is unleashed upon your unsuspecting victims. It will probably become apparent quite quickly where the farts are eminating from, but everyone loves a bit of toilet humour, and no doubt you will all huddle together around the phone to hear each variation again and again.
10. Pimple Popper
Why anyone would feel the need to have this app in their life is questionable. It allows you to pop a virtual pimple on your phone, which is utterly pointless and quite disturbing. Having said that, it can also become quite satisfying, and almost addictive in a bubble wrap popping sort of way.