After a night of drinking, my reaction when I see all the text messages I sent the night before

After I stepped on my cats tail and trying comfort him afterwards

Talking to my mom on the phone

Waiting till you get home to take a crap

When I approach a girl at the bar with a 9:10 body and then I see her 2:10 face

When I got off the toilet only to see a grape sized poop after struggling for 20 minutes

When I overhear someone talking about me

When I pass someone walking into the bathroom I just crapped in…

When I’m driving and someone that’s tailgating me changes lanes and gets stuck behind an even slower car

When my crush recently became single…

When my family finally got a computer

When my friend proudly presented his finished PhD project to me, which is on a subject I know nothing about

When people are yelling outside

When we ask my married friend to come to the pub with us

When you win an argument on the Internet

Whenever I’m singing along to the radio and have to stop at the lights