“I’m hangry!”
“I could have burned the house down.”
“I’ve texted my ex so much I really need to charge up my phone before bed.”
“Why do I have so many band-aids on??”
“My stomach hurts more than anything in the world. What did I eat?”
“Alpacas can bite a lot harder than I thought.”
“Shit I dunno where my keys are at. Drunk smash!!”
“I’ll take that slice to go.”
“Uh huh, I so can fit this whole box of straws in my mouth dude.”
“A scorpion will be such a bad ass pet!”
“She is totally the best waitress ever.”
“I can totally fit in the high chair just you wait and see!”
“I’ll take this bike and just bring it back tomorrow morning.”
“Where the hell did I leave my shoes last night?”
“Hey bro, take a picture of me jumping over the flames. It’ll be epic!”
“Why is my internet out?”
“I can sleep longer if I pack my lunch now.”
“I’m the bride and I demand Taco Bell NOW!”
