A great customer service experience and a smooth, clean poop are two things that happen rarely in life. But when they do, they are two of the most pleasant, week-changing experiences known to humankind.
Now, when customer service departments started (apparently) hiring comedians to run their Twitter accounts, people’s experiences with complaints and queries were brought to a whole new level of entertainment. Who ever thought we’d be living in a world where you could be sitting without toilet paper on a train across the UK and tweet for staff to bring you some wipes? I mean, seriously? These are the kinds of stories that should lead the news every night. We’d all be so much more optimistic.
But that’s enough poop-talk for now, I think. Let’s just get right into it and examine the glory that is customers vs. customer service Twitter accounts, shall we?
1. For the uninitiated, “no a grass” translates to “not a snitch.” You may laugh now.
2. I’m wildly impressed with the kid’s resourcefulness and Virgin Trains’ response time.
3. If the dog is healthy, I’m actually okay with this transition.
4. I hope this made it to his ex.
5. Lonely dad is lonely.
6. I guess I’ll keep buying from the 18-year-old kid that works on the loading dock at Costco.
7. I love the passive aggressiveness the internet allows people to rebut with.
8. How does one color without carnation pink?
9. Step 247: Apply ice to burn.
10. Apparently Tesco doubles as a comedy club.
11. Unbeknownst to the person tweeting, the Underground runs multiple trains every day, all day. Who knew?
12. Marijuana? Not even once.
13. I can speak British chav, so let me translate: “When will the PS4 be in stock in Moss Side? I don’t want to wait anymore. And the gentleman of Asian descent has a poor attitude.”
“It’s okay Twitter guy, we’re getting more PS4s within the next week, okay? Sorry about the (Asian fella’s) attitude. He’s likely having a bad day.”
14. We all know this much civility has never been seen between these two communities.
15. What did he ask for that it ended up like this?