When you play the Game of Thrones, you better throw all your effs out the window. Spoilers ahead!
1. That time when Cersei tells Joffrey that they’re the only people who matter.
Episode: Season 1, Episode 3
Why it’s badass: Cersei is basically telling Joffrey not to trust anyone who isn’t a Lannister. That’s gangster, friends.
Number of f%&ks given: Absolutely no f%&ks given.
2. When Cersei basically tells Ned she’ll cut a bee.
Episode: Season 1, Episode 4
Why it’s badass: It’s clear that Cersei respects Eddard, in that he’s braver than her own husband. But she’s not afraid to let him know that even though she’s a woman in a man’s world, she’ll kill a bitch.
Number of f%&ks given: Maybe 3, just in case her hubby found out.
3. When Cersei basically admits she hates her husband.
Episode: Season 1, Episode 5
Why it’s badass: It’s clear that Cersei and King Robert aren’t really in love, but Cersei confirms it in this episode and, in doing so, finds a little relief.
Number of f%&ks given: Maybe 1, if only because she did try and love him once upon a time.
4. When Cersei calls her King husband out for being a total loser.
Episode: Season 1, Episode 7
Why it’s badass: When Robert Baratheon’s apologizes to Ned Stark, Cersei can’t help but essentially call Robert a pussy. Robert’s the KING. This was epic.
Number of f%&ks given: Roughly 2, since she did get slapped for saying this. But only 2, because she says, “I shall wear this as a badge of honor.”
5. When Cersei confronts Ned, and basically tells him shit is about to go down.
Episode: Season 1, Episode 7
Why it’s badass: Well, we know who won this particular game, don’t we? RIP Ned.
Number of f%&ks given: Absolutely none.
6. When Joffrey is a rude little bitch and his mom slaps the shit out of him.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 1
Why it’s badass: The exact thing Joffrey says is, “I’m asking if he f%&ked other women when he grew tired of you.” That deserves a damn good slap.
Number of f%&ks given: 4, only because Joffrey essentially threatens to have her killed if she ever retaliates again.
7. When Cersei nearly gets Lord Baelish killed just to prove a point.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 1
Why it’s badass: Lord Baelish tries to blackmail Cersei for boning her brother, and she reminds him that she can have him killed without blinking an eye.
Number of f%&ks given: 2, if only because she hates it when other people know about her… sex life.
8.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 3
Why it’s badass: It was a simple dinner exchange, but also a way for Cersei to dig a tiny knife into any hope Sansa has. It’s the little things, you see.
Number of f%&ks given: Zero.
9. That time when Cersei kidnaps Tyrion’s whore and beats her, just because she can.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 8
Why it’s badass: OK, so the whore isn’t exactly the one she needed to go after. But nonetheless, she has no problem imprisoning a girl and beating her just to rattle her little brother. Hey, that’s what big sisters are for, right?
Number of f%&ks given: Not a f%&k in hell.
10. When the city’s about to get sacked and Cersei celebrates by drinking loads.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 9
Why it’s badass: While Cersei is trapped in a tower with the rest of the women folk, the only way she can tolerate their company is by drinking. Heavily. And it’s awesome.
Number of f%&ks given: 0 saucy f%&ks.
11. When Cersei gets wasted and tells Sansa to use her vagine for a good cause.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 9
Why it’s badass: Not only is Cersei basically shit faced at this point, but she’s also pretty much telling Sansa to sleep her way up the throne ladder.
Number of f%&ks given: Maybe 1 f%&k, since she knows Sansa’s a total V-card.
12. When Cersei tells Lancel she doesn’t give a f%&k about what he thinks.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 9
Why it’s badass: Lancel thinks he’s really going to convince Cersei to have Joffrey return to the battle. Boy, was he ever wrong.
Number of f%&ks given: 0
13. When Cersei pays Tyrion a visit in his cell and let’s him know who’s in charge now.
Episode: Season 3, Episode 1
Why it’s badass: Not only does Cersei not acknowledge the fact that Tyrion was the only brave Lannister during the attack, but she also mocks his very existence. Well played.
Number of f%&ks given: Nada
14. When Cersei broke the news to Tyrion that he’ll be marrying Sansa.
And she was like, “Bitch, I AM LOVING THIS”.
Episode: Season 3, Episode 5
Why it’s badass: Cersei rarely succeeds at one-upping her little brother, but in this case she managed to do just that. Of course, her don’t give a eff attitude was dashed when Tywin reveals that Cersei will have a wedding of her own to Loras soon enough.
Number of f%&ks given: 0, until she gets Tywin’s news, which bumps it to a zillion.